Evan Williams

Jack Daniel's retarded, angry, bitter little cousin. He hates that you have friends, he hates that you are well liked in your community, and he hates that you are happy, and will do anything and everything to ruin your peaceful existence. Despite the rage he may project onto your personal and professional life, right when you begin to pick up the pieces of your mother's urn that your girlfriend broke when she left you after another binge, you still allow him to come back, "for old times sake."